please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
tell me about the eggs
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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