so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
