Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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