Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
