That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
