hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
