We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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