it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
