do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
