Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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