So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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