i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
