dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
