so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
worst night to have a conscience
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
