In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
