Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
