Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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