Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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