I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
