I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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