He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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