im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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