hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
