marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
