god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
