THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
True strength comes from lack of pants
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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