whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
