well you can't waste a boner
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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