just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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