I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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