Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
