Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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