She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
