it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
