He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
