I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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