hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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