Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize