$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
