Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
