There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
