were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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