did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
