4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
