mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
