i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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