Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
