I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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