Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
