ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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