Sorry, I don't speak sober.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
