There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Text me some of your sweat
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
