I cockslap morals
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
