i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
